K-k-krack-kra-kracka?

One thing I noticed about Seattle while I was there: Seattle LOVES it's Nutcrackers. Loves. Though perplexed by this revelation, I didn't try to understand the city's fascination with the painted novelty nut-remover. I decided instead to respect this strange cultural obsession, to observe the rituals of the indiginous peoples of this land by paying homage to the various commemorative shrines, or "cracker-spots" set up around town. I took a few pictures of these sacred, celebrated toy monuments whenever I could.

Here is a playful Nutcracker, diligently guarding the Market like a sprite guards a forest:



A feminine 'cracker; beautifully decorated in a floral-pattern mosaic. This could be some sort of tribute to a primitive diety, or maybe an offering to the ghost of a long-forgotten local banshee. Courtney Love perhaps?:



Despite his incredulous expression, Ryan has assured me that he LOVES Nutcrackers, just like the natives of his chosen homeland:



Even stranger than this hypnotic 'cracker is the strange thing taking place before it. Yes, my friends; this is Kyle on a cell phone. Truly, these objects inspire bizzarre occurances:




And here is the scary "Nightcracker," guardian of the lower streets of Seattle, foe of wrong-doers and criminals, commando in the war on the uncracked, and the primary reason I remain afraid of gay toy soldier holiday items:



Seattleites are a strange people indeed.