The ultrasound tech was enamored with my alien child. She said things like "such a cutie" and "what a heartbreaker." Watching the surreal little fingers float quietly to rest upon a round little cheek, I said "How can you tell? She looks like pod people from space," but I felt all squishy and full of strange icky love feelings.
Here is a foot, captioned for your viewing convenience. There is no good way for laypersons like myself to understand the scale on these sort of things, but it looks like a hobbit foot to me. With hobbit toes that are currently digging a good foothold into my ribs, either testing them as a kick-off point, or working in between them so that she can hang on by her feet the day we all try to pry her out of her executive suite and into the cold, cold world.
Here also is a profile. She was making sucking-lips at the time, probably plotting exactly how she plans on turning my nice, attractive ta-tas into functioning Mommy-Jugs that will never be the same again. Well the joke's on her, cause all that scheming makes her look like a platypus. So there.
OMG BIRFDAY!
ReplyDeleteHAPPYXORS!
So the starchild has hobbit feet. Hopefully she does not eat like a hobbit too.
ReplyDeleteSo how long until she is evicted from the penthouse?
I'm pretty sure she'll eat exactly like a hobbit. Except that breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, and tea all fall between the hours of 12am and 4am.
ReplyDeleteThis record drops on Dec. 2nd, officially. Which is only, like, 12 days away. But it could happen sooner or later too. So, um...sooner or later, to answer your question.
And thanks, R. I heart you.
So does the mermaid have a name yet?
ReplyDeleteAnd did you get the voicemail I left you on Saturday?
no. And yes, thanks. You remember stuff gooder than I do.
ReplyDelete