Monday, May 15, 2006

As Found In Substitute Manual:

The following aversive techniques of handling behavior are considered inappropriate and may not be used by agencies in educational programs (PA Code 342.36e):

1. Corporal punishment
2. Punishment for a manifestation of a student's disability
3. Locked rooms, boxes, or other locked structures from which the students cannot readily exit
4. Noxious substances
5. Deprivation of basic human rights, ie. withholding meals, water, or fresh air
6. Serial suspensions (like from the ceiling?)
7. Treatment of a demeaning nature
8. Electric shock
9. Methods implemented by untrained personel

So I guess I'm not allowed to cattle-prod kids through the bars of a dog kennel while spraying them with weed killer, calling them cross-eyed gingers and insulting their shoes... and I'm especially not allowed to let untrained personel do it.

This totally ruins my plans for Thursday.

Friday, May 12, 2006


Until I get better pictures, taken with my actual camera and not the cell phone, you can see my new hair here. It's not exactly short, but its a lot shorter than I've had it in a long, long time. :-)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I, Bean.

There I was, trotting up and down the stairs with baskets of dirty laundry and clean laundry, vacuuming, doing random household stuff. I was passing by the dining room table for the 194th time that day, minding my own business, when I decided that I just couldn't take the insolent taunting of this saucy bastard one more second:

This device is coin-operated, so I popped the first coin I found (a quarter) into the little slot and twisted the knob. For three crappy jelly beans. Was I being mocked? I pumped a whole quarter in there!! I needed a better solution.

AHA!! I'll screw open the top! Sure, these jelly beans are from sometime before last Easter. And sure, they don't really belong to me. I say, if that 12 year old doesn't properly appreciate the quality of perfectly good 18-month old Jelly Bellies, they are so up for grabs.

Success! Now to tip it over and retrieve the delicious goodness...

Ohnos! The bottom of this thing comes off too! Change and beans everywhere! I'm so busted! (The cats think I am awesome and have done this just for them, btw.)

It's ok. I'll do the time. It was totally worth it.