Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Major Bedhead: I can't believe I lost my bag! (frownie face)
Mo: Heh. Hate it when you lose your bag.
Mollie the Dollie: Maybe it will help if you retrace your steps, Major!
Major Bedhead: Well, I was delivering the mail as usual....
Carl: Ohhh. Mail bag.
Mollie the Dollie: Gosh, Major! What happened next?
Carl: You know the Major is so tagging that.
Mo: I bet he leaves his helmet on.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
This past week, I finally got around to ordering my dress for Steph's wedding. I told the lady on the phone the date of the wedding (May 26), and after punching in the order, she gave me this little "Whooo!" and chuckle-snorted at me.
"Well, it says if you order the dress today, it should be ready on May 24th."
Did you know they call me Mo the Punctual? Also, Mo the Expedient and Mo-On-Time. Stuff like this is why Becki has dubbed the two of us the "Maids of Dishonor." Other examples include our extrememly serious demeanor at David's Bridal during the Choosing Of The Dress:
(A very flattering pic of both of us, I know. Still, we were really pulling for tiara-cowboy hats and pink feather boas.) Then there is the traditional Shower Bonnet of Humiliation, carefully constructed to reflect the solemnity with which we regard the proceedings at hand:
Becki has promised Steph opportunity for revenge should she ever decide to have a wedding. I would like to second that sentiment. Steph, please feel free to take it all out on Becki.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
"What the hell is so hard about throwing the tissue box away when you've used the last tissue?"
"Why can't we just throw the afghan back over the back of the couch when we're done with it? Why does it get crammed between the couch cushions and left there?"
"Who made toast and left jelly and crumbs on the counter? Jelly and Crumbs!"
"Who in God's name left a banana peel on top of the trash can lid? WHO would do something like that???"
"You know, it was more of a rhetorical question. I know it was me."
"Well, then why'd you ask, you weirdo?"
"I was on a roll. I'm feeling irate. By the way, who ate my Triscuits and left only two in the box? I'm the only one in this house who even likes Triscuits."
"Don't look at me."
"I mean, if you aren't even going to like them, why eat them? I like them!"
"Um...I'm gonna go watch TiVo. You're getting kind of manic."
"Ok. I'll come with."
"Does the remote go here? IN the sofa cushions? Does it??"
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
So the only logical thing to do, it seems, is to put her in her Bumbo seat on the counter next to me and let her chew on the bottle brush
Thursday, April 05, 2007
I only saw Steph for an evening, and most of her attention was diverted elsewhere (it was her wedding shower, after all) but it was a good visit, regardless. There was nice wine and a rediculous party hat and good cake. Becki and I (her maids of dishonor) even went with her to momentarily crash Ryan's bachelor party. We totally busted up their wild night of Nintendo Wii and accoustic guitar, and I have yet to come up with an adequate comeback for "Ugly Baby!" I miss my friends. They remind me what it's like to have a sense of humor.
Jaimie left yesterday morning. I definitely weasled out of the long drive to the airport and the weepy drive home. Having a baby and the sleep deprivation that comes with has made me more emotional than I ever have been, and I just didn't have the energy for it. Two and a half weeks probably seems like a long time to her husband when she is away from him. He should try being without someone he loves for the balance of the year. It is stupid that she does not live next door to me or down the street like she should. It is stupid that she lives many states away.
It was a nice visit, too though. There was park-strolling and good dinners and much baby kissing. She's been a mom for two and a half years now, which means she gives extremely useful advice. For example, she helped me develop my use of the "C is for Cookie" song beyond "C is for Cookie" and "B is for Baby." I now rattle around the house singing "B is for Booger," "T is for Titty," and "Oh, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo starts with DEEE!"
It is also good to have another mom to go to the playground with. It's much more fun to mock the herd-moms who hog the swings and talk of potty-training seminars when there's someone around to agree that they have stupid haircuts and probably have boring sex with their boring husbands.
Behold! Wendy's first published writing: