Wednesday, December 09, 2009

DMV Hell Doesn't Suck For Once

Have I told you the story about how I have been driving on an expired license? For a year? No? That was probably smart of me. You never know when one of your internet friends is going to place an anonymous call to the local po po and have you arrested for driving your kid around without a valid license...

Yes, I see your eyebrows. They are all arched up in surprise that I am such an irresponsible scoff-law. I did actually try to renew six or eight months ago online. But as I have no mail box, I do not have an officially Google/GPS-sanctioned address. SO...the internet DMV gave me the finger, spat at me, and sent my camera card to my previous addy. Then I just didn't want to deal with it. For six or eight months. I am what you might call a master procrastinator.
(WHAT? You don't want to go to the DMV either!)

So yesterday, Carl looked over at me with an air of don't-EFF-with-me-woman! determination, declared that enough was officially enough, and informed me that this license problem was going to go away NOW. He then drove me to the dingiest part of the county, and waited with Wendy in the car for Mommy to get all legal again. He is a saint, and I will bake him pies.

Honestly, I expected more guff from The Man about this. Instead, I got a jolly gentleman (I'm sorry-there's just no better word for him; he was all large and rosy) who waived the $5 camera card replacement fee and winked at me. What's more, my license picture looks even better than the one from five years ago.

Let me repeat that: Above the neck, according to a legal document, I look better now than I did right after college, before baby, job and home stress. Yeah, okay, maybe it has something to do with how I am now slightly more mature about brushing my hair and dabbing on some eyeliner for a picture...but let me have my moment of happy delusion, okay? I can go ahead and get a speeding ticket now! Because I look good on my non-expired license!

You're right. It doesn't take much to thrill me lately.


  1. A good photo on your license?!?! I did not know it was even possible. Mine looks like I'm stoned. And it doesn't help that I was wearing a M.A.S.H. tribute outfit that day - drab green pants with a Hawaiian shirt. Ug.

  2. my current picture would look pretty good, except it was summer and I had been in Las Vegas and the horrible color/lack of photography-ness at the DMV makes me look like I've been in a nuclear accident. (-orange-)

    my latest fun activity was going for a pre-employment drug test at one of those doc-in-a-box, which, by the way, if you are ever Jonesing
    for the enviroment at the DMV but can't get there, go to a Primacare. Oh, and wear a ballcap.

  3. My license pics have always had either bad hair-poofy and tented down to my shoulders in a big, poofy triangle-or big, shiny forhead. Usually with a turtle-like closed-lipped librarian smile.

    (although Hawaiian shirt/nuclear accident day sounds good too...)

  4. morgen, ill be driving soon so i can drive you around when your license gets expired agian :]

  5. I like what Erin wrote. Too funny. It's ok, I'm expired too. Acutally it doesn't even exist! OH NO.....don't tell the state of CO ;)

  6. hey, have a great holiday!

    make sure you have a drinking plan so you don't run out of booze when the stores are closed :(