Friday, June 29, 2007

I'll curry you.

Look. It's the sleep deprivation that really makes you lose your f***ing mind.

It makes harmless phrases like, "Ok, I have to go to work now" sound exactly like "Gee, I know you were up seven times last night, and I'd really like to stay and help out, I would. I'd love nothing more than to stay at home all day and play baby games and spoon out mashed sweet potatos, or even just watch her for a few hours while you get some rest. Heck, if it were possible, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat! But gosh, darlin, that just isn't the way the world works. So, sadly, I have to go to work now, and leave you to all the fun."

Sleep deprivation also leads to really lame, really housewifey revenge for these imagined condescentions, like slipping jalepenos in the lime chicken, making curries and hot italian sausage and nachos full of peppers and so on until he begins suddenly disappearing for lengthy spans of time, only to reappear in the doorway completely naked, sweating, and disturbed. It's the "shock and awe" portion of our meal. It comes about ten hours after desert. Don't look so bewildered. You know what you did.

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