Thursday, June 07, 2007

Mostly, I'll remember that unfinished Cake...

It's been two weeks since the wedding that officially took Steph off the market. That's right, our little girl, once full of the blushing innocence of maidenhood, is now a woman of the world.

She was forked over to the domestic sphere by her friends and family before the great sweeping staircase of the Civil War Museum in Harrisburg. (She was supposed to be trussed up and placed on the sacrificial domestic alter at the scenic overlook there, but it rained.) No, they did not appear in period Civil War wedding costumes.

The ceremony was sweet, the dresses were pretty, the hors d'oeurves were memorable. It was a great wedding. Despite the rain, despite the MOB theatrics, everything went smoothly. The bride brushed aside every minor obstacle in her headlong march down the aisle with grace befitting her tiara. We two Maids of Dishonor (and the one Punkass of Honor) behaved ourselves well enough. I only made helpful suggestions, like "nobody fart" as we stood waiting in formation for Steph to complete said march. We were all respectable grown-ups about it. The best man and I both made awkward speeches before dinner and everything. Then we listened to Frank Sinatra and other smooth oldies as we ravenously consumed our chicken (or pork) and delicious, delicious cake. The guy next to me didn't eat all of his cake, and man, did I want to finish it off for him. I didn't cause that would be wierd, and also because I wasn't sure if he was really done with it or just saving it for later.

If I had my speech to do over again, there are a lot of things I would say, like "remember, Steph: kitten in the kitchen, tiger in the bedroom."

And I might have also thrown in my uncomfortable commentary on when and how they should start giving us grandchildren. You know, like everyone else seemed to want to talk about. But I didn't. Because I'm a good friend. And because Ryan was sweating enough that day.


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  3. aw, you guys had fun! im sorry i missed that! And Steph, if you read this, welcome to wife hood! Now that your stuck in eternal bliss, the best advice that i have recieved is never go to bed mad, and if you cant help being mad, still go to your bed with your husband!

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  5. (and not the muffin boy/girl at Starbucks, no matter how hot/willing they are.)

  6. yeah, my mom gave me that same piece of advice, which is a good one. I've gotten so many. And oh man! My Uncle Stanley (the dude that looked like Santa Claus) wins for saying the most uncomfortable thing at the wedding. He said "Do you know why they make you wear a ring? Because it cuts off the circulation." And then he made this hand gesture, like twirling his finger. And once I got it (think about it... think about it....) I was totally amused/weirded out. Because seriously, no one expects your old Uncle Stanley to be all suggestive at your wedding!

    Also, the funny thing about getting married is that people feel the need to offer you advice that you don't really need like, "laugh a lot!" and "communication is important." Which, if I didn't laugh a lot or communicate, I probably wouldn't have been co-habitating with my current husband for so long and we probably wouldn't have gotten married. But since I never asked for their advice before we moved in together, I guess they all feel the need to get their words in now.

  7. Also, Mary posted photos here: