Monday, October 18, 2010

I Want to Believe. Don't Ruin My Illusion.

Dear Past Self,

When you see that I have done the thing I said I would not do, try not to be a jerk about it. I know you won't believe me, but it's going to be okay. It's a different time, a different place. It's hard to wrap your head around it, but it is not, in fact, a horrible idea to own not one, but four pairs of leggings, one of them being purple.

Seriously, though.

When you are an already fashion-challenged and now awkwardly lumpy pregnant chick, THIS:

...will look pretty damn cute to you.

Plus, you get to wear all of the long sweaters that you already own...AND the rad boots that Steph brought you many moons ago, and they look freakin awesome. (Rad? Oh god. It's like I've reverted to my 80's childhood. Like, dude. Somebody club me with a tiny Olsen twin. Like, totally.)

Let's stick with cute. Not pregnant girl in overalls and pigtails cute-but actually cute...well, as close to cute as you can get right now.

You will wear leggings because you can buy them for $8 at Old Navy, instead of buying $45 maternity jeans. You will also curse yourself out for not owning a full-length mirror, then get a charlie horse trying to get a picture of your cute boots, then get your leg stuck in the sink about four feet higher than someone of your configuration should really hoist one's leg...and then you will curse some more.

Don't hate. Buy a full-length mirror. Just do it.

Future Self


  1. Aw yeah. Cute boots. Also, I'm totally into leggings! If only I could find a pair in black.

    Also, you're quite the contortionist there.

  2. I wanted another black pair, since I put a hole in the ones that you gave me for Christmas, but I got to Old Navy the day AFTER the huge leggings sale. (Bah.) I was lucky to find purple and brown ones.

    PS:the lace- or fishnet- or leopard-print leggings=too far.

  3. If I tried a move like that, the ambulance would have to come get me. Good tip on the leggings. I've been stocking up on $10 Janzen yoga pants from Walmart. They come up so high I feel like Tweedle Dum when I put them on. They have black, brown, and charcoal. But lace/fishnet/leopard print might work well for a Halloween costume: pregnant crack whore.

  4. HA!
    or pregnant Lindsay Lohan?

  5. Ahaha! "Pregnant Lindsay Lohan" will probably be a news headline between now and Halloween.

  6. I wish she'd get on it. I could use a Halloween costume...