Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bums vs. Hobos

I recieved a yarn gift certificate for Christmas, with which I purchased two skeins of this delicious wool/silk blend, or what I call "teh green goodness":

I haven't really knitted anything for myself in a long while, and after careful consideration, decided on fingerless gloves. Behold, the newest addition to my "Bum-beautiful" collection!

After knitting the right one, I decided that I was going to make the fingers longer. Not because I think the shorter ones make my knuckles look fat and ugly like porky little gnomes wearing turtlenecks, but because I realized my fingers were still a little too chilly. So for purely practical reasons, I made the fingers on the second glove longer.

(Did you notice the rustic setting? Just for you, internets, just for you.) Jaimie said that this is more of a "hobo" glove than a "bum" glove. You see, hobos are more motivated and mobile than bums. Bums are much lazier than hobos, and are usually snoozing the nights away in some fancy shelter, whereas hobos are always on the move, picking up cans and seeking out a better, warmer cardboard box. Hobos need their hands to be a lot warmer, because they are out later, pushing around their hobo shopping carts, which is very cold on the hands. They only need the very tips of their fingers for the most dexterous hobo tasks, like rolling new ciggarettes out of all the butts they collected during the day, or picking up winnings from a game of dice with their hobo friends before the fuzz breaks up the game.

Hobos also have a very keen fashion sense. They realize that the longer fingers make their hands look more elegant and less porky. And nothing ruins a hobo's day like realizing they have porky fingers.


  1. so you were able to convince moss to be a pal and cling to your hands when they are cold? awesome.

    are you trying to say that you have 2 gloves with different length fingers? that is like wearing mismatched socks.

  2. I plan on knitting the shorter fingers longer asap, dork.