Monday, October 30, 2006

Just Eat the Sammich.

Twelve-year olds have a very special way of pointing out all the ways that you are forcing them to live in an unbearable hovel the likes of which must (must!) be considered child abuse in some states. In front of grandparents, they say things like, "Am I allowed to turn the heat on today? My room is like 40 degrees, and....well, I'm...cold. So cold."

After her dad spent all weekend losing round 2 in the battle to fit the chimney with a liner, Erin comes home from her mom's and says very innocently, "Do you know when we are getting the fireplace fixed?" After he spends half the day replacing all the pipes under the sink, you (inevitably) find her examining a glass of tap water, nose wrinkled, proclaiming with disgust, "what we really need is a hard-water filter." Damn science teacher and his fancy water unit. All tellin kids stuff.

"The carpet smells. How old is it anyway?"
"The bathtub tiles are moldy."
"This mayonnaise is expired."

Pfft. Not any more "expired" than it was in your sammich yesterday. Didn't seem to bother you then.

3 comments:

  1. Always quick with the observations the little ones are. Slow on the ideas and manpower to fix things as well. A little too old to play the simpathy card I think.

    round 2? What could a chimney bring to the table that would thwart several attempt by a grown man to spruce it up a little?

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  2. Prying charred home-made chimney liner from chimney and realizing just HOW close we were to burning down the house; trying to fit a new round liner (with measurements that say it SHOULD fit) into a sqare chimney; finding that it doesn't; getting another guy over to try to MAKE it fit; finding that the original chimney construction is crappy and nubbly enough on the inside to make life very difficult; its a saga at this point.

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  3. "Am I allowed to turn the heat on today? My room is like 40 degrees, and....well, I'm...cold. So cold."

    Kakes has been saying the same thing all day. Plaintively and pitiably, I might add.

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