Saturday, November 11, 2006

Heard at the OB Clinic, With Inside Voice

"Who knew there was a weight limit on birth control?"

I did. Of course, you don't look like you quite top that limit, but it's a moot point if you don't take the pills.

"You'll see when yours is two. They just will not be good. Luke, baby, no. Don't kick her. NO! Do you want a cookie? Stop it! Cookie, sweetie? Luke! Cookie? Luke! Luke! Luke! Don't ignore me, or I will come over there!"

Yeah, Luke. Don't ignore her. She might just have to give you another Snickers.

"The daddy of this one's a meth head and in jail. I hate him. I hate his bitch mom worse. That bitch just makes problems for me for no reason. She tells people I'm on drugs. Um, duh, I'm pregnant. I don't even do drugs now. I swear to God, some people shouldn't ever have kids."

Um. Duh.

"We'll do the puzzle again. Crystal called me a booger. You come to Aunt D's house and call her a booger, ok? Her is the boss of that baby, cause her is him's mommy. Her is the boss of that baby, cause her is her mommy."

Where is the boss of you, anyway? Did she leave you here? You are kind of boogery...

"I love coming here. It's so nice to be around other mommies who know what's up and actually talk to each other and help each other. It's like having sisters once a week. It's just so nice."

"I know. It is." My god, I hope my prego pants don't make my ass look that fat.


  1. Well that just sounds like a whole bunch of crazy talk. You think your co-pilot will be as sarcastic as you are?

  2. what are you talking about? EVERY mean thing I say is totally her fault. At leasty, that's what I've been going with.

  3. Oh I get it. Your pretty much off the hook for any of your actions until she finds some other, more spacious accommodations.

  4. Yes. And also, we are always right. At least for another two or three weeks.

  5. well you do automatically cast 2 votes in your favor for any decisions.