Thursday, May 12, 2005

Five Things I Did Today

  • I toddled out to my porch and found a that a magical pair of red mary janes had magically appeared on my doorstep. And magically, they were in my size! Just what I've always wanted! Thank you, oh mysterious bringer of shoes! Thank you ever so! (pretending that there is a shoe fairy helps aleviate my guilt about spending money. Its fun. Try it: "I was driving along, delivering Meals on Wheels, and all of the sudden, there was a new pair of jeans and new boots in my back seat!" "There I was, reading for the blind, and I turned to pick up my glasses. When I turned back, I was just wearing this bracelette! I don't know what happened!" "First there was no yarn, then I was just sitting in a pile of it! How did all of this get here??? Maybe it's because I'm a good, good person.")
  • I turned this bottle of metal

into this

modest pile of paper.

  • I took that modest pile and put it in the bank. All 46 clams. Rollin in it, baby. Oh yeah.
  • I sat in the parking lot of Genaurdi's, reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance, contemplating the definition of Quality and how it interacts with the archetypal modes through which we define ourselves.
  • I filled out an application at Donatos so that I can finally say, "Yes, I have an English degree. Your two pizzas come to $23.49."

Considering all the nothing I did yesterday, today was awesome and productive. Gosh, life is swell.


  1. you be a witch i say. manifesting articles of footwear out of nothing, turning metal into paper. what is your next trick? making pizza whose effort will be returned as the portraits of dead presidents in 2 weeks time. gather the villagers, pitchforks and torches, there be a witch hunt a brewin.

  2. I will buy a red wig, call the pizza Mystic Pizza, and skyrocket myself to stardom playing a misguided prostitute with a heart of That's Julia Roberts. Ok, I'll be the witch.

  3. as long as its a witch with a job.

  4. well look at you! All doin stuff! Five things, huh? Aren't we busy busy busy!

    (shut up! I do too note! it's been a crappy week!)

  5. Altough, I wouldn't quite count "picking up the mail" as something you did today, as all it required of you is to look out your door.

    And reading in the parking lot of a Genaurdi's? That really isn't something either, considering you could have done all that pondering at home.

  6. Were those notes harsh? They were harsh, weren't they.

    I'm sorry. It's been a rough week.

  7. its ok, I love you and your notes anyway