Monday, November 28, 2005

Let Them Eat Everything

The Seattle Minutes part 2

November 24
12:40 am arrive at Steph and Ryan's apartment
12:41 Kyle and I tour apartment
12:41 tour ends
12:44 Ryan thoughtfully picks up wine bottle
12:45 somehow find ourselves sitting on the kitchen floor, passing wine bottle and chatting
12:55 finish first bottle
1:20 finish second bottle
1:40 finish third bottle
1:42 make white russians
1:55 experiment with Canadian whisky
1:56 decide that wasn't a good idea
2:10 finish white russians
2:15 we all flop down on enormous sofa-bed to watch Family Guy
2:16 Kyle reminds me that it's actually 5 am our time
2:17 Ryan asks, "what jerk decided to start passing around a bottle of wine?"

12:30 pm grogily eat aspirins
12:45 eat delicious frosted cinnimon rolls

3:30 get cranky while making green bean caserole

4:45 arrive at Samantha's house, meet the other "misfit Thanksgiving" guests
4:46 ogle spread of side-dishes
4:47 drool at spread of side-dishes
4:48 consider volunteering to test out side-dishes, in case of poison
4:49 omg won't someone please carve the turkey? We've been here for like, FOUR minutes!
4:52 Ryan will!
5:05-6:00 ravenous hoovering of Thanksgiving. It was everything I knew it could be and more.
6-9 sipping of various wines, discussing of the local music scene, admiring of the view from the veranda. Am simultaneously impressed, jealous, and suspicious of this heady, metropolitan lifestyle.
9:00 sophistocated metro people make hand turkeys. Ah, the great equalizer.
10-12 play complicated drinking game, pick at carcass. Spoon leftover sides into gullet.
12-1 Twister: drunks vs. sobers. Take amusing pictures of each other in comprimising positions, go home.

November 25
12 noon
lets never eat again.
2:00 late lunch at the 5 spot. Consume "Aunt Em's" potato pancakes, pork chops and eggs in down-home midwestern-themed diner/bar.
5:30 feast of cheeses, crackers, beer and apples. Delicious.

November 26
10 am
Steph and I arrive at Starbucks to meet her friends for knitting.
10:02 I cannot efficiently pronounce either "Grande Caramel Machiatto" or "Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin" in a timely fashion. I am obviously from some po-dunk town where they don't have Starbuckses. Everyone shakes their heads in dismay. They pity this ignorant buck-toothed country specimen before them. Oh, the shame.
10:45-11:30 Unpronounceable muffin is awesome. Two other knitting friends arrive. Discuss Thanksgiving dinner at the home of one of their SO's family: "These people don't even know what organic food is." "How is that even possible?" "Most traditional dinner ever. I mean, they actually had Stovetop stuffing." "NO!" "Yes." and so forth. I am amused.
12:00 Steph and I treat ourselves to her lucious yarn store.

4:30 warm-up happy hour at Dragon Fish. Sushi, sake, beer. How can life get any better than this?
6-8 wander around Barnes & Noble and the mall. acquire samples of candy and apple cider.
8:00 dinner at Morraccan resteraunt. Meet Samantha and Manuel (one of the Twister crew) for "5-course feast," including lentil soup, salad, strange sugared meat pie, an entree, and desert with tea. All eaten with our hands.
9:00 belly dancer appears
9:10 people start putting dollars in her belly chain. I am very disturbed by this.

10:00 pay bill, wander around street, find coffee shop with a sign outside that says "Bauhau's! Where it's slightly less cold than where you are right now!" This is not a very ambitious campaign for our business. Amusing gay barista inside makes up for this.
10:05 really. A coffee shop in Seattle. I know.

November 27
4:00 pm
dinner at Bucca de Beppo's. Family-style feasting.
5:00 Oh, my god. Why did we eat so much?
5:30 food induced coma prevents further activity. ever.


  1. reading this made losing all of the work I did in the last hour worth it.

    You're the best, dude.

  2. it was more like 5lbs not 20 like their scale tried to lead me to believe

  3. dude. I remember you clearing your throat when I wasn't updating enough for you.