Friday, November 04, 2005


Monday night was a night of pizza delivery in which every single pizza was at least an hour late. This was influenced by both Monday night football and every single schmo in the greater RoFo area stuck at home handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, and the fact that there was only one other driver besides myself. Afterward, I sat down and wrote my place of employment a little note. I wonder if they were able to read the subtext. I'll spell it out to you here, just in case.


Dear ::Pizza Hell:: Management Team,

It is with a heavy heart (fuck you) and deep regret (fuck you) that I must offer my resignation (fuck you). Let this missive (fuck you) serve as my two week's notice (fuck you).

My last date of available employment at this fine establishment (fuck. you.) will be Thursday, November 17. Thanks for all the good times (fuck yooou). These memories will last a lifetime (no, no, fuck you).

With much regard (and fucking of you),

Morgen :-)

What do you think? Too subtle?

On Tuesday, the only sane member of the management team approached me, hands raised in a gesture of surrender, and said "Ok, ok. I'll let you quit if you agree to stay on the schedule for a few days a week. How's that?"



  1. *clutches stomach*

    *struggles to catch a breath*

    I love you. I wish I had your balls.

  2. where i work i girl that has been tempting there for a year, told them she was quitting last monday. at some point this week they offered her a full position. she basically told them to go fuck themselves. i had to laugh when they bought her a cake on her last day.

  3. So out. That guy is still asking if I'll stay on for a few days a week. Pff.

    C.L.U.M.P.S. usually buys people an ice cream cake on their last day. It's the only shred of humanity she allows to slip out between the cracks of her dried-cheese encrusted shell. (that or she just really wants cake)

    I'm wondering if I rank for cake. I guess I'll find out.