My sister is having ongoing trouble with her evil (not just wicked) step-mother in-law. (yes, the power of in-law-hood compounded by step-ishness) This woman insists that my baby nephew, previously mentioned on this blog as the light of my life, has a language disability, developmental issues, a clubbed foot, and whatever else she pull out of her ass.
This sack of crap has made it her mission in life to denegrate a child who could not possibly be more perfect, mostly out of inexplicable spite for my sister. I have suggested a conversation that would proceed thusly:
Evil Step Mother In Law: "I really think you need to have his feet looked at again. With his difficulties, you really need to pay attention to these things. Do you even have a pediatrician??"
Jaimie: "Hey ESMIL, are you and your husband still having sex? Are you even still capable of orgasm at your age?"
ESMIL: " #@$(##@^&!!"
Jaimie: "Yeah, maybe you should keep your hairy mouth shut about things that are none of your business, too. Actually I've noticed that mustache of yours, and did you know excess facial hair can be a sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome? Because you should really have that checked. It doesn't *look* normal."
(that last part was suggested by Bethany. Frankly, if I were in CO and had to witness such remarks from this person, I have a feeling the situation would progress much more quickly from biting quips to crazy bitches being punched in the face.)
(Hey, she's not my step-old-fart-in-law.)