Ok, I'm not parking in the apartment parking spots, like the ticket says. What do you mean, "around the back?" There's a fence back here, and it's all overgrown with weeds, and where am I supposed to-oh. There's the gate. Held closed by a bungee cord. Right.
Crazy Old Lady: (from rocking chair on back porch) UP HEREwheeze!!!
Me: Oh, hi! *wrestles with gate, approaches porch*
C.O.L: WHERE'D YOUwheezePARK???
Me: On the street. *hands her the pizza*
C.O.L: WHY DIDN'T YOU PARKwheezeNEAR THE DUMPSTER?!?
Me: Um...the ticket said not to park in the parking spots. So I parked on the street.
(Dude, if I knew there was a dumpster, I totally would have parked near it. Because that is where all the cool kids park. Duh.)
C.O.L: IT'S NOT FUNNYwheezeTHE FIRE DEPARTMENTwheezeIS ACCROSS THE STREET!! *takes forever to sign slip* *does not tip me*
Me: I see.
C.O.L.: THEY CAN'T GET OUTwheezeNEXT TIME PARKwheezeNEAR THE DUMPSTER!!!
(I have in no way parked the fire department in. Or out. Or parked illegally in any sort of way.)
(this lady obviously is preoccupied with fire fighters. I hope they appreciate her efforts.)
Me: Right. Well, have a nice day.
C.O.L.: DON'T STEP ON MY CATS!!!
(Okay, she didn't really say that, but it would have been funny.)