Bethany regarding War of the Worlds:
"It was totally worth it, just to see Tom Cruise sucked up the inverted alien space-anus."
(and I concur.)
Jason, regarding Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
"I can't wait to see how Depp plays Micheal Jackson...I mean...Willy Wonka."
(as a creepy jerk with an eye-twitch, bad-daddy issues, and flashbacks. It was pretty cool, even though it might as well have been MJ.)
George from Live 8, or as Carl calls him, Shaven Yak Boy, regarding Episode III:
"Yeah...it was awesome...but what I really want to see is a flash animation pitting Yoda against Gandolf. Cause that would totally kick ass. Like, no one has ever done it!! Like how no one has ever written a script with a vampires-vs.-dragons scene! That is, no one until me. Want to read my script?? Why don't you call me sometime? We could go see Fantastic Four...?"
Yeah, so at my mom's house this past Friday night, I was drinking a bit and having a loud good time with her friends and some other folks. My mom's friend Rose comes out with my cell phone, which had apparantly been ringing, and hands it to me, saying, "it's George." What the crap, Rose.
Don't you know that I have been avoiding his phone calls ever since I came down off of the Live 8 buzz and realized that I really don't want to talk to geeks who write Magik the Gathering scripts in thier spare time, no matter how nice thier abs, not to mention thier pecs were? That I have since gotten over whatever cloud of drugs I walked through before I started chatting this guy up and got his number? I don't want to talk to George!! Especially while half-lit! Especially after I haven't returned his phone calls in over a week! *sigh*
So I talked to him. And appologized for ignoring him. And let it drop that I have a b/f. I think I might have actually said "b/f." And I slid it in all casually, not blunt at all, like "I shouldn't talk to you. I have a b/f." Smooth, huh?
On the plus side, I got to see the new Zorro trailer this weekend. I wonder if the theater would consider muting all the parts where Antonio Bandaras or Catherine Zeta-Jones is not speaking. I would actually pay money to see it then. It looks as good as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, insofar as it is cast entirely with hot people and has something for everyone to touch themselves over. Not that I do that. In movie theaters. Before nine pm.
11 Gifts that Empower Women and Girls
1 month ago