Beligerant Old Man: (opens door) You see this coupon? It's for two dollars off the pizza you don't make anymore.
Pizza Delivery Girl: Yes, I see.
Beligerant Old Man: Well, I don't think you should advertise pizzas you don't make on coupons you can't use, so this is the coupon I'm using.
PDG: You see sir, it's called "bait and switch." We lure you into believing that you can order the barbecued chicken pizza, but then at the last minute, foist some other, inferior pizza upon you. It's all an elaborate scheme to trick you into taking less desireable pizzas off our hands.
Beligerant Old Man: Whatever, this is the coupon I'm using.
PDG: You could just use the "two dollars off anything over $10" coupon right next to it...
Beligerant Old Man: No. (*hands me the entire coupon sheet anyway*) Oh, and there's a delivery charge, too, isn't there?!?
PDG: Yes, sir. $1.25.
Beligerant Old Man: IN THAT CASE, I'm not tipping you.
PDG: Ok, don't.
Beligerant Old Man: I'm not.
PDG: Then don't.
Beligerant Old Man: I don't think I should tip you if there is a delivery charge.
PDG: Well, you see, sir, I don't really see a cent of that delivery charge. Every penny goes to my company's Anti-American Anti-Freedom Communist fund. When you called us up, your phone number and name, along with the names of your children and immediate family, were all automatically listed in our system alongside other Anti-American Anti-Freedom Communists in the area. Your information has been sent to some of the top Communist leaders in this country and abroad. Fidel Castro is probably reading your file right now. Someone should be contacting you shortly with a roster of Anti-American Anti-Freedom events, and literature on how you can help the Anti-American Communists fight freedom in your neighborhood. Thank you for you contribution, commerade, and have a nice day.
3 days ago