Phone: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring!!!!
Me: (*fixing a salad*) Hey, could you get the phone?
Wide-Eyed New Kid With Underdeveloped Social Skills: HAHA! Not it!!
Phone: RING RING RING RING RING!!
Me: Actually, I think you are it.
W.E.N.K.W.U.S.S.: nope! (*walks away*)
Me: fine. (*answers phone*)
Pizza: *is being cut by Wenkwuss*
Wenkwuss: *walks away, mid-cut*
Me: *picks up pizza knife to finish cutting abandoned pizza*
Wenkwuss: *meanders back several pizzas later* Oh, what?!?! Now you're stealing my job? Bitch!
Me: Excuse me, Wenkwuss, but you do not know me well enough to use that word with me. If you did, you'd know it wasn't a good idea. (*chops pizza, drops knife*)
Wenkwuss: Whatever. bitch.
Me: *sweep sweep sweep*
Wenkwuss: Yeah, that's right. You do that so I don't have to do it later.
Me: *sweeps cheese and meaty bits into the laces of his new white shoes*
Wenkwuss: ....You don't like me all that much, do you?
Me: As a matter of fact, I don't.
Wenkwuss's Elaborately Erected Sense of Identity: *is shocked beyond the point of inteligible speech, has not faced this sort of rejection since the night of Junior Prom*
Wenkwuss: What? Why?
Me: *sweep sweep*
Wenkwuss: Do you think I'm annoying?
Me: Yes. Extremely.
W.E.E.S.I.: *has heard this before*
Wenkwuss: How am I annoying?
Me: Take an educated guess; Ask someone else; It's mostly your face; Leave me alone; etc.
WEESI: *is scorching brain cells trying to figure this one out*
Wenkwuss: Oh yeah? If I'm annoying, you're a BITCH!
Me: That's a snappy retort you have yourself, there. Use it often?
WEESI: *thought he was being clever*
Wenkwuss: Well....I'd rather be annoying than a BITCH!!
Me: Opinions vary.
Wenkwuss: *shoots his best 'now you're on my list' glare, stalks away*
My Brain: *has already thought of seven things more threatening than Wenkwuss*
People In Your Neighborhood
1 week ago